Turkey and Turkey's

Today, I started my preparation for the 2nd annual Thanksgiving dinner at my house. I decided to go to the mall and check out Williams Sonoma to see if there was anything I needed.
Well, there is a lot I need because I don't cook. Well, not as well as I would like and not often. So I usually have nothing in my house. I have started to make a list of things I need before the big event.

I love Williams Sonoma. One, they are always cooking something. Two, they have the coolest appliances, spices, cooking tools, etc...that I can look at and pretend that if I did cook I would purchase this and this and that...

20 minutes later with the help of a very good salesperson, Connie, I left with the following: Foccacia stuffing, gravy, cranberry-orange dressing, herbs, brine, and bags. Now, I had to have a small lesson with brine. Apparently it is a marinade that the turkey sits in for 6-22 hours and then you wash it off, season your turkey and cook it. The brine makes the turkey very moist. I told Connie I just pour a beer or two inside the cavity to get this effect. She shrugged and said you could do that but this stuff is amazing and we sell out of it every year.
Hooked, I let her reel me in to the tune of $60 later for turkey prep.

Speaking of Turkeys....

At the hair salon the other day, instead of reaching for my usual "chick" magazine, there it was, Esquire, the Cosmo for Men. Hhmm, I thought, maybe I could learn a thing or two about men, I mean, maybe there is something about them that I don't already know. As I began thumbing through the pages by passing the cover story on The Sexist Woman Alive, who according to Esquire is Jessica Biel. For those who don't know who he is, she began her career as Mary Camden in the show "7th Heaven".

However, that's not what I found to be entertaining, sorry guys, it was the article entitled "59 things a man should never do past 30." Unfortunately, I did not take the magazine, which would have given my hairdresser the wrong idea about me. I was only able to access off of the Esquire website the first 11 and remembered two more.
So dear readers here's your chance to add a few to the list. Men, don't get offended, it's all in good fun and after all The magazine for men, started it.



1. Coin his own nickname.
2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
4. Hacky sack.
5. Name his penis his name plus junior
6. Hang art with tape.
7. Hang The Scream , unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.
8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"
10. Skip.
11. Take a camera to a nude beach
12. Do a gang pose in his friends wedding photos
13. Make a V with his hand and tap it on his chest upon greeting and leaving and adding the words "Peace Out"