Gotta see this movie

I had to put in an early post on this... Go and see Wedding Crashers! If you have any sense or humor at all, you will love this movie! Now, as a female, this movie should have been a turn off, after all it's about crashing weddings to score chicks. They tell the most outrageous stories (all lies) to get these women to have sex with them. Funny, that sounds like a typical night out.

Anyway, I laughed so hard I cried. Some may call it immature and cheesy humor, but I call it damn funny! I won't spoil it by revealing too much however I would see it again! Vince Vaughn is at his best!

Mind Erasure

Would you erase a bad relationship from your memory if you had the chance? If all it took was one night spent hooked up to a computer to forever forget a lost love, would you go for it?

This is the theme from "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," a film that proposes the ability to do that is but a doctor's office visit away.

Today where I am mentally and emotionally makes me want to do just this. There are moments in the day, especially, when you're going through something. You think, “I don't need this! Why can't I just let this go?”

I think we all tend to make the same mistakes over and over again - not that you wouldn't anyway - if you knew. I think in any relationship there are beautiful moments and then not so beautiful moments. Sometimes, I think you can get the fairy tale... that you actually can be together forever with somebody. But the question is how many somebody's does it take to get to the center of forever? So, I don't really think I can subscribe to that anymore.

Would I want to erase the memories, be it good or bad? I am saying yes, but deep down all I really want to do is erase is the loneliness.

In retrospect it always seems to work out that you can look back on something that was a disaster and find some gems in there.

Just more about me....

11- I talk in my sleep. I hold very animated conversations with myself. I have even been known to physically assault a person and my cat while doing this. Which explains why I sleep alone.

12-I wear braces, now, on my bottom teeth. My bottom teeth have always been slightly out of line so I am having them aligned. Yes, I am a 40 year woman with braces...invisible ones though. So..the sparkle in my eye is not from the metal on my teeth.

13- I have never sent flowers to myself and pretended they were from someone else. I still have some pride.

14-I can not consume a lot of alcohol without getting drunk. Three glasses of wine and I have a good buzz-one bottle and I am pretty high anything after that...not pretty. But on that note...

15-I do not like to vomit. I know, who does? Not me. I will fight it with every thing I have got. When I have to kiss the porcelain throne you know I am really sick.

16- I used to play a violin in my school orchestra when I was in 5th & 6th grade. I hated it because it meant I had to keep my fingernails very short and take private lessons with a woman whose hair was all the way down her back and her house smelled like cat litter.

17- When I gave up the violin I took up singing, first soprano in an all girls ensemble. If you heard my voice, you would have to think the music teacher was on crack when he made that call.

18-I am OCD. Rather, I have become OCD with age. I tend to get grossed out by unclean carpets, bathrooms, and well just about any hotel room does it for me.

19- I happen to think one day I might make a good therapist. Even though I don't take my own advice.

20-I am a multi-tasker. I need to do more than one thing at a time. If I am on the phone I am also answering an e-mail, paying a bill or cleaning. If I am doing any of the aforementioned I am also on the phone. In fact right now, I am licking envelopes. ;)

Tumor-row...Tumor-row...Is only a day away!

Slightly over three months ago this week I had a tumor removed from inside my liver-actually they removed the left lobe of my liver to remove the tumor. Thank you Dr. H. As it turned out it was benign. Today, I followed up with Dr. H to see how life inside my body has been progressing. You must know the liver regenerates itself. Which is a cool and fun fact to know. Anyway I had a CT scan on Monday , not pleasant, not the scan, but the solution they make you drink. It has a weird and unsettling effect on your tummy all day long.

I sat with Dr. H as he looked over my scans, which are now burned onto a DVD, isn't that cool! Upon viewing I noticed, once we arrived at the pictures of my liver, several small dark circles showing up.

Me,"What's that?" Dr. H., "Nothing..." Me, "How about that?" Dr. H, "Hmm, well let's see if it appears on the other pictures." Me, "and that?" Dr. H., silent. As we scan through more pictures he gets up and moves to his file cabinent. He decides we need to take a look at the old scans to see if these "spots" were there before. He looks through his files and realizes the old films were sent back to the lab. They'll have to be re-ordered.

We then look through the old reports that accompanied those scans (those are in the computer) and those reports mention nothing regarding these "spots".

These spots are on the right side of my liver. Me..."What am I doing to cause this?".. To which Dr. H. says "let me look at the old scans and call you, regardless we'll have to have you back in the next 90 days for another CT."

Where the hell are these tumors coming from? WHY ME! Who knows... Apparently, I am one "liver tumor" making HB (human being).

Something else that feels like it has a tumor growing on it is my personal relationship with an old friend/boyfriend. Which I won't discuss here.

I guess it comes down to this...

Whether it's a tumor in your liver or a tumor in your relationship-the only thing you can do is watch and see what develops over time.

Too much information...

I have not felt inspired to blog lately about anything so here goes the beginning of "100 things about me" or more information about me than you ever asked for:

1-I am the oldest of three, I have a sister and a brother

2- I am single and have never been married. All of which has prompted my grandmother to give me my "wedding gift" of money because she claims she won't be around to see me walk down the aisle. She's probably right.

3-I was born on Christmas Day, the first baby I might add to pop out that day. TV and newspaper coverage were in order. Yes, I experienced my 15 minutes of fame before I could even form a thought in my brain.

4-I have a cat named Samantha, i.e. Sam. Although gowing up we always had a dog, I am rather fond of cats maybe because they are easy to take care of. I do like dogs, preferably the "small" ones, because they truly love you unconditionally and have little if any disposition, unlike cats.

5-I like chocolate and peanut butter, especially when I am PMS'ing. :)

6-In April of this year, I had a part of my liver removed because they found a tumor inside it. It was benign. Thank god! But the liver also grows back so -bonus!


7-I recently became an Aunt to a precious little girl-Aspen Meadow. She'll be one this August.


8- I am a "mutt", bred from parents of the following mix of nationalities German, Italian, Ukrainian and Hungarian. Years of therapy were in order to help me deal with anger issues.


9- In October of last year I went to Italy with a good friend for 14 days. A trip that I had always wanted to take. I had hopes of meeting an Italian man, falling in love and re-locating to Italy-or was that in the book I was reading at the time?

10-Growing up I refused to wear dresses and played softball and basketball with the neighborhood boys-it made my grandmother somewhat nervous-so she would lecture at my mother who would then lecture to me that it was not proper to play with the boys. Today I am pretty much "girlie" yet I still hang with the boys.

Random thoughts...

Just a few things to think about...

One the hottest lingerie items to hit the market are hanky panky thong-a one size fits all. This panty retails for $18 w/o tax . Upon examination of the item one can see that it is merely 100% nylon. Apparently, some damn expensive nylon as the price is probably a 250% markup. Yet I buy them and think they are the best panties I have ever worn. Go figure.






Hair care products...What justifies a pricetag of $15 for a can of foam? Again...I bought it.

I admit it, I will pay the outrageously expensive price of some items and "balk" at the cost of other. For instance, I'll pay $400 for a cell phone but not $10 for an outdoor concert in the park. I'll fork out $22 for a lipstick but not $1.29 per topping on a pizza. This can be linked to what we might perceive the benefits of that product to be. The perceived value if you will.

There has to be some point where you draw the line, for me that's denim. What is up with the cost of jeans? They are denim...not spun from the finest silks by a handmaiden locked in a secret tower in a land far away...which by the way is another story, I digress. Denim today is priced between $150-$400 for jeans with names like Seven, For all Mankind, Free People, Chip & Pepper...and they have holes intentionally put into them.





Why didn't I come up with this idea?

"Gut" Instinct

What is it about "gut instinct" that makes it so credible that we often say "I know the answer I feel it in my gut".

Most recently I learned that the "gut" as it is affectionately called, surname the stomach, emits hormones. One of these hormones even has a link to stimulating a nerve in our brain which results in telling us we have eaten enough during our meal. But that's another story.

However I got to thinkin', which often gets me in trouble. This feeling that we often attribute as a "gut feeling" may actually be the cause of what our brain is telling us is the right or wrong thing to do and it delivers this message to our stomach. When we are faced with difficult decisions we often find our stomach "in knots" possibly due to what is happening in our minds.

Now I do not profess to be a a scientist or a doctor, but it is my "gut" instinct that leads me to believe in this theory. Now here's the twist. This little relationship between the gut and the brain involes one more partner-a threesome if you may, the heart. The heart can get right between what we know is good/bad in our gut and mind and make us do the exact opposite.

"Follow your heart...." "Listen to your heart..." "the heart knows best..."Sound familiar? I admit I have followed my heart a few times in my life. Was it a wise decision? Who knows, at that time I thought so, but here's the caveat.

When I look back upon those experiences whether personal or professional, the heart can be misleading. After all it is linked to emotional reactions and not logical ones. It has lead me to go down paths in my personal life where the gut would say.." Hey..don't go there!" But my heart would prevail and in the long run the gut was right.

Why? Who knows. And of course this is just my theory, but I think we know in our "guts" the right thing to do because it is linked to an area in our brain, where rational and logical thoughts are. There is little room for emotion in this partnership, which is where the heart comes in. It creates a balance between the three.

It may be through experience, choosing the heart or the gut, that we learn to balance out the three to make the decisions we do. Good or bad, right or wrong, maybe the only way to know is by following our gut.

Just Breathe

I am one of the lucky people on this planet that have allergy induced asthma. Lately the air has become so thick and the pollen counts have been high all of which combined with any form of physical exertion outside make it hard for me to breath. In light of the negative aspect of not being able to take a deep breath I thought of some of the wonderful things in life that make it hard for you to breathe...So here's my list:

Your first kiss

Your first kiss with someone you are in love with

Winning the lotto

Test results that are positive (in a good way)

The first time you say I love you

The moment your child is born

Love

A surprise party

Survival of the Fittest?

Why do they call it boot camp when it's actually more like work your "boot-ey off camp". K and I just started our 5 weeks to physical fitness by joining one of the nationally accredited locally run boot camp fitness programs in our area.

Did you know that boot camp does not get cancelled even when the fallout from hurricane Dennis decides to visit your area? Yes!, I thought and prayed as I awoke at 5am, it's going to be cancelled. At 5:30a, K called and said we were going, after all it was the first class. So as the morning rain fell on top of me, and around me, I struggled to reach my toes and stretch my non-elastic legs. Warming up is what our instructor Ken said we were doing. Warming up to me is my morning cup of java and a nice shower.

"Give me a lap round the track, get going ladies." he shouted. And like a pack of wild animals, we all started to run at the same pace. For this is the time when you have the most energy and think to yourself; "What!?, this ain't so bad." Only to realize the track has a steep slope and it is much lengthier than you had projected.

This is what separates the pack and the "laggers" have to fend for their own as the "leaders" have left them in the dust. Surivival of the fittest.

We are then put through a series of drills, the likes of which my body and mind can not come to an agreement on. My mind says go and my body says NO! Heads turn to look at the person next to you to see if they are having the same argument with themselves when Ken barks out "This is not a spectator sport ladies, if I see one more head turn everyone is going down for push-ups." My gaze goes straight forward and cursed be the person(s) whose doesn't.

55 very wet minutes later, did I mention it was raining?, there was no way to define where the perspiration began and the water ended. Our time together was about to come to an end. As we laid down on the soggy, spongelike flooring of the children's play area in the park doing our full body situps, Ken informed us..."This was easy ladies, next time will challenging." I think I may have whimpered.."mommy...." as I was slowly lowering myself from a 1/2 attempted sit-up.

I turned to K and attempted to speak but I needed all my energy to get back to the car.

"Sole" mates

Lately I have been on a search for some incredible new shoes. I have a certain style, color and look in mind, it is indescribable however once I find them I will know ...it's a feeling.

All of this "sole" searching got me doing some "soul" searching of my own and reminded me of one of my favorite episodes of "Sex and the city" : Carrie is out shopping with Samantha and walks by a store with a fabulous pair of Manolo Blahniks in the window and says in a sultry voice "Hello Lover".

"Sole" and "Soul" mates what if anything do they have in common?

Take looking for the perfect sole, the shoes that catch your eye due to their color, their unique style, the pair that you must have. They fit you to a "T". When you put those shoes on any outfit you wear with them fades in the background because they ARE the outfit. Cost is not an issue because you must have them. They complete your look.

It may appear that we tend to shop for our soul mate in a similar manner, you look for the one that catches your eye due their unique personality, the way that they smile, their captivating personality, the way they make you feel when you are with them. To paraphrase a friend, you want to feel fireworks when you are with this person.

Both sole/soul (s) evoke emotions. They can make you feel sexy, savvy, smart, classy etc..

But as time goes on soles get old, they lose some of their unique style, they may fall out of fashion, they just don't seem to fit as well and they don't create the same excitement they once did. So we move them to the back of the closet and or replace them with something new. And the cycle of "sole" searching goes on once again.

The other day as I was cleaning out one of my many shoe filled closets, I came across a barely worn pair of great looking shoes. Still very stylish even though I had purchased them a year ago. I had planned on giving them away to charity but took a second look at them and decided they were just what I was looking for. My sole mate.

Maybe every now and then we need to take a look at our "soles" for a common denominator. That denominator may be the key.

Could it be that what we have been looking for has been there all along? And if so why do we keep looking for a new pair?

Sam napping 

Was it something I said?

Today was one of those days when those silent thoughts that are in your head roaming around accidently or maybe on purpose, just pop right out of your mouth.

I picked an uneccessary fight at my local wireless provider's retail store with the clerk over whether or not I did get 25% off accessories I purchase for my phone. Right next to me was a couple who seemed To be having some issues as well communicating their thoughts to the agent. In fact right before I went off the fellow next me did and I guess it started a chain reaction. The next thing I know I am cursing at my friend (an innocent bystander) the comment I meant for the agent. My friend A., was so startled she actually apologized to me as if she said something that upset me. I had to laugh then becasue apparently I did not have enough "balls" to look at the agent when I said it but I think he knew it was meant for him. Needless to say I think he flagged my acount so I guess I will be looking forward to some changes in my plan courtesy of him with no benefit to me.

So I felt like an "ass" later when I looked back at the whole situation. I wonder if it was the lack of food intake, I started a new diet plan, or anger that was meant for somone or something else that slowly made it's way out of my mouth, one can only guess.

Sometimes we all reach that point, the moment where it breaks. That moment is different for everyone and if you are driving in a car it would be referred to as "road rage". So maybe mine was "retail rage". But isn't a lot of this just misdirected? For me maybe it was something that happened earlier in my day and that became the "starting point" and the retail guy happened to be the "ending point" for this anger.

Cruisin' on the Fourth of July.

Today is the day I decided to start my blog. Independence day. Anyway the hardest part of this has been what to call my blog. All the really "cool" names are taken and I don't happen to feel very creative at the moment.

Well I finally decided on Life in Progress, not the most creative but it works. Right now my life is in the progress of several things, a new job and a new relationship with an old friend. More on that later.

Went tonight to see War of the Worlds. Up until seeing this movie, Tom Cruise was not on my top 10 list. Lately I think he has been acting like an idiot. Yeah, he's in love, but he's also a 40 something adult male who shouldn't feel the need to act like he is a 12 year gymnast when asked about his girlfriend (refer to his appearance on Oprah). By the way what is it about men and younger women?

I happen to know that a 47 year old man just married a recently turned 31 year old woman and got his vasecotemy "undone" so that they or should I say she could get pregnant. Love or just plain insanity...because that's a $10,000 not-insurance covered act of love and there is no guarantee that this guy might not still be shooting blanks.

Sorry, I got sidetracked for a moment. Regarding the movie, it was pretty good and I left the theatre with some warm and fuzzy thoughts regarding Tom. Alas these thoughts will only last until his next interview where he will profess to know that there is no such thing as a "chemical imbalance" in the brain and he "knows" pyschiatry. This wealth of knowledge may have simply been too much for Nicole to handle maybe that's why they split up. Does short man syndrome ring a bell here?